34
On Tuesday 28th of June, I went back to RUH for the results of my partial mastectomy. Unfortunately my surgeon, Mr Sutton, was on holiday so I had my results given to me by a Mr el-Wakeel, and my oncology nurse, Cherry.
The surgery went well and they found no cancer cells in the lymph nodes they removed, however there were three areas of invasive cancerous cells. I was shocked when Mr el-Wakeel blurted out that "of course, you will need to have chemotherapy and a mastectomy". I was floored.
My immediate response? "I can have the mastectomy, but not a chance will I have chemo. I want children, and I want to keep my hair!"
Cherry rightly said that there was no point having children if I was only going to live for 10 more years. The severity of the situation hit me like a 10 ton truck. To think I was upset over losing a nipple initially!
They said they were having a meeting with breast cancer specialists in the morning to confirm the way forward, but as it stood, they expect that I'd have chemo first (over 4 months) followed by the mastectomy and immediate reconstruction.
My world had imploded. I was given booklets on chemo, hair loss and mastectomy reconstruction.
I woke up in the morning hoping it was a nightmare, but I had that sinking feeling as I woke up that it was real, and it was happening.
I even started pricing up wigs!
Debbie, my other oncology nurse, called me on Wednesday morning (yesterday) to tell me that the specialists have advised putting chemo off for now and going ahead with the mastectomy (and immediate reconstruction) as soon as possible. I'm not off the chemo-hook just yet, but hoping that once they've removed the bad breast, that that will be the end of it.
Feeling slightly relieved about the no-chemo advice, but am on edge at the moment, as so far, this horrible cancer has not played by the rules.
It's crazy how I've gone from not wanting to lose my nipple and being upset over a potential radiotherapy tattoo, to being grateful for the mastectomy.
I'm seeing Mr Sutton on Tuesday to go over all the options (not sure what these options are, yet!) and to book in a date for the surgery. Watch this space.
